Thursday, July 25, 2013


Is life any different from the fly?
Flying round and round until you die?
Banging your head into the window
Hoping it will one day be open some how
Buzzing and annoying
Is that how I sound?
Looking for something
Any kind of connection
Once found
Is that just a craving?
A need?
A want
A deathly feeling
You gave it once
And now I can’t forget
Please forgive me
It’s not my fault
I flew in when the window was open
But now it’s not
Shut so tight, might not open again
I didn’t mean to bug you
I didn’t mean to be so loud
I’m just a fly
If you can’t let me out
Even a tiny crack
No point in living
In a stragers shack
Just give me the old whack


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Love Poem #2

Fuck You


Love Poem #1

Love you
Love you so much
Love you from the depths of my heart
Love you till the sun shines
Love you in the moon filled shadows
Love you with expert precision
Love you in the shiny new auto
Love you like a nice clean shave
Love you sweet and soft
Love you more
Love you
Is love the right word?

Too much to Live for

Moi? Please...
Do I look it?
Hair's combed
clean shaved, nice clothes
toothy grin painted on
permanent ink
Go to work, small talk
They tell me through smoke
How hung over they are
Drank himself silly
And why not?
He is not suicidal
Of course not
Broken relationships
Out on a bender now
Sleeping with any
that turn a sympathetic sighhhhhhhh
That's not suicidal
Might be murder...
Speeding down the freeway
Late for a meeting
Pray he makes it
It's not like he has a chance
of dying...
Stop for a bite
It's been almost an hour
Quick, fast, fix
Diet soda
Nevermind the scars
Nevermind the pills
can't hide it
don't even care
But I'm not suicidal
Now pass it over here

Thursday, July 11, 2013


I'm only smiling
Please don't talk to me
Can't you see my pearly whites
Everything is just peachy
No need for comfort
No need for medicine
Can't you see I'm happy
That the walls are closing in
That time is marching slower
An IV acid drip
Courses like knives
in some gross milk
Look close, I can't hide
I can't shut my windows
Thieves still break in
And mess up all my drawers
I can't help it, I'm lonely
So I refuse to lock them
But the pearly gates are sealed
Holding my forked beast
That so easily would betray
The one that brushes it everyday
I'm smiling for you
Isn't that enough
Your etiquette is satisfied
You've been polite long enough
Please my face is hurting
I can't take it much longer
Plus I know you can't handle
What I have to offer
Waking free in a cell
Created by my own desire
All trust ripped away
On one single night
So I beg you please
Take this smile and leave
And when you find me tomorrow
Can you place the mask back on
I guess I should be smiling
When I go to meet God
I know I can't trick Him
But maybe I can fake it
And Mom always wanted
An open casket

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Dear Presidente

When those we love part from us,
Why are we left alone to bear the cross
when the weight is too much to bear...
Why should I feel comfort when all I see is despair...
We shall meet again, but time seems to slow...
Can words comfort, maybe, I don't know...
Anger, regret, all feelings known too well
Will it heal, only time will tell
At least you're not alone to bear the heavy load
You have each other and that's more than what I know
Be strong but you don't have to be
It's ok to weep, it's ok to bleed
I'll pray for you so you can breath
But you'll never be alone
Like I have to be...



i'm not good

but you might see

depends if you can handle it

cause i can't

it's getting heavy

it's bringing me down

it's beginning to hurt

i thought i could let go

but i never was the type

i want you to help

but i know you can't

give me a reason

give me the means

but you make me wanna stay

and carry the weight

it's so simple

it's so easy

it's too hard

i wish i was drunk

i don't want to be good

i want to be numb