Saturday, December 21, 2013


Thou shalt not lie
Is that right
Number 11
Only the truth
Shall set you free
What is truth
A choice
               I hate you                                                                                      I love you
                 No, I don't agree                                                                       I agree
                    I think you lie                                                                      I believe you
                      I know you lie                                                                 I completely believe you
                        Washed up                                                                   Inventive
                          Pretentious rich kids                                                Humble artists
                            Dumb sheep                                                         My friends
                              Guilty sinner                                                     Saint
                                 Greedy pricks                                              CEOs
                                   Lustful degenerates                                 College kids
                                     Suicidal drug addicts                          Recreational users
                                        You don't want love                      Dating
                                            Suffering is happiness           Happiness is pleasure
                                                   Death is freedom      Freedom is living
                                                                  Truth is lie is Truth

You want the truth?
You can't handle the truth
Have a nice day           


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Happy Christmas

Is it that time of year again?
Happy Christmas.
I used to like Christmas songs
I used to love them
All month long
Old Bing can belt them well
Spread holiday cheer
What happened
Can't stand the noise
I'm no Grinch
I'm no Strooge
Is that what Christmas is all about?
Charlie Brown
It's been what?
25 Christmases
50 more? Maybe
Super Size me
Get it over with
Please don't give me a gift
For the love of Christ
You did...
Snowed in with "love"
Ungrateful I know
It's for them
Not for you
Smile and thank
Like momma taught you
Christmas alone
With everyone all around
Happy Christmas, the walls came down
Is that what they want
Stop the staring
Happy Christmas, your alone
Your babe
In the arms of another manger
Waking to that monetary splendor
Where is Santa when you need him
Never where you think
Sorry I have to turn this down
I can't stand the jingles anymore
No more lectures
it's Christmas
So shut the door when you leave
Fa la la la la,
La la la la


Silly Me

Sometimes I get to thinking
You know me
I let my silly self go
Goals of moving away
Doing what I was born to do
Reading all these success stories
Skaters making albums
Painters making albums
Sculpters making albums
Directors making albums
Get myself going
Fired up for another one
This ain't so bad
Can last another season
Planes coming in
Two weeks of fun
Then silly me
The text will hit
Silly boy, dreams are for kids
Time to follow the devil
To the top of the moutains
Your Golgotha is not yet defeated
More blood is required
Drain, baby, drain
Lucy might have lasted longer
Wicked wings flapping at my window
Sleep no more little one
Dying in my dreams
When awake
Hoodwinked is my vodka
But it costs too much
Don't I get an Eve?
No, no one would choose to
Keep it simple
No more thinking, drink up
Silly me


Thursday, July 25, 2013


Is life any different from the fly?
Flying round and round until you die?
Banging your head into the window
Hoping it will one day be open some how
Buzzing and annoying
Is that how I sound?
Looking for something
Any kind of connection
Once found
Is that just a craving?
A need?
A want
A deathly feeling
You gave it once
And now I can’t forget
Please forgive me
It’s not my fault
I flew in when the window was open
But now it’s not
Shut so tight, might not open again
I didn’t mean to bug you
I didn’t mean to be so loud
I’m just a fly
If you can’t let me out
Even a tiny crack
No point in living
In a stragers shack
Just give me the old whack


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Love Poem #2

Fuck You


Love Poem #1

Love you
Love you so much
Love you from the depths of my heart
Love you till the sun shines
Love you in the moon filled shadows
Love you with expert precision
Love you in the shiny new auto
Love you like a nice clean shave
Love you sweet and soft
Love you more
Love you
Is love the right word?

Too much to Live for

Moi? Please...
Do I look it?
Hair's combed
clean shaved, nice clothes
toothy grin painted on
permanent ink
Go to work, small talk
They tell me through smoke
How hung over they are
Drank himself silly
And why not?
He is not suicidal
Of course not
Broken relationships
Out on a bender now
Sleeping with any
that turn a sympathetic sighhhhhhhh
That's not suicidal
Might be murder...
Speeding down the freeway
Late for a meeting
Pray he makes it
It's not like he has a chance
of dying...
Stop for a bite
It's been almost an hour
Quick, fast, fix
Diet soda
Nevermind the scars
Nevermind the pills
can't hide it
don't even care
But I'm not suicidal
Now pass it over here

Thursday, July 11, 2013


I'm only smiling
Please don't talk to me
Can't you see my pearly whites
Everything is just peachy
No need for comfort
No need for medicine
Can't you see I'm happy
That the walls are closing in
That time is marching slower
An IV acid drip
Courses like knives
in some gross milk
Look close, I can't hide
I can't shut my windows
Thieves still break in
And mess up all my drawers
I can't help it, I'm lonely
So I refuse to lock them
But the pearly gates are sealed
Holding my forked beast
That so easily would betray
The one that brushes it everyday
I'm smiling for you
Isn't that enough
Your etiquette is satisfied
You've been polite long enough
Please my face is hurting
I can't take it much longer
Plus I know you can't handle
What I have to offer
Waking free in a cell
Created by my own desire
All trust ripped away
On one single night
So I beg you please
Take this smile and leave
And when you find me tomorrow
Can you place the mask back on
I guess I should be smiling
When I go to meet God
I know I can't trick Him
But maybe I can fake it
And Mom always wanted
An open casket

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Dear Presidente

When those we love part from us,
Why are we left alone to bear the cross
when the weight is too much to bear...
Why should I feel comfort when all I see is despair...
We shall meet again, but time seems to slow...
Can words comfort, maybe, I don't know...
Anger, regret, all feelings known too well
Will it heal, only time will tell
At least you're not alone to bear the heavy load
You have each other and that's more than what I know
Be strong but you don't have to be
It's ok to weep, it's ok to bleed
I'll pray for you so you can breath
But you'll never be alone
Like I have to be...



i'm not good

but you might see

depends if you can handle it

cause i can't

it's getting heavy

it's bringing me down

it's beginning to hurt

i thought i could let go

but i never was the type

i want you to help

but i know you can't

give me a reason

give me the means

but you make me wanna stay

and carry the weight

it's so simple

it's so easy

it's too hard

i wish i was drunk

i don't want to be good

i want to be numb


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Bliss (It)

It's like, what do you want to talk about?
There is no aspect of Its life that is interesting or happy or even remotely different
Divorced (ex was committed)
Son (which will become psychologically damaged)
lives a million hours away and cries when let go
Finishing school
to get a job, won't die
and That's It.
It hates itself...

Used to pray that her or It would die to alleviate the
wrong to live a pointless existance
messed up
can't go back
Everyone can make it without It, especially him
won't be torn, can celebrate memories
People are always better in our memories

A coward!
Can't take Its own life!
must be taken from It!
And so
"live" a half-life
Doing the motions, but mindful that Its will is gone
No more ambition
no more desire
Just instinct

Will this time end? Maybe
but does it matter
How could it? With parting
want to run, but she makes It stay
Zombies, It hates
but you become what you hate
The world is designed that way
A factory of death, a concentration camp...
No hope
No fear

Want light? the end of the tunnel, NO!
That only brings realization of the blackness that envelops
Infinite darkness, peace of routine

If you'd be so kind and take use of the darkness and put this coward out of Its misery
Just slip it between the shoulder blades and swiftly through the heart

But don't give It such hope
Keep It busy to forget...



Dick liked Jane

Dick played with Jane

Dick learned with Jane

Dick had fun with Jane

Dick fell in love with Jane

Dick married Jane

Dick had a family with Jane

Jane fought with Dick

Jane liked Dick

But fell in love with Bill

Now Dick doesn't like Jane

But can't forget her

Dick is alone


The Bee

Busy Bee Buzzing Below
unaware of impending woe
the carful observer
the diligent worker
should I take that fatal step?
and take away your Final Breath?

Busy Bee, now in two
oh how I wish I was you
and God would take that fatal step
and take away my Final Breath...


There once was Elliot. 
             He was a talented being. Music was a physical thing to him. It was all around him. It would come to him in the day and at night it filled his dreams. He loved music. 
             One day he took control of the music and made something amazing. He was so proud of what he had done. He made the music his own.  Some others heard it and praised him. They would say " I had no idea you were so talented!" Elliot enjoyed that others thought what he had made showed how talented he was. He decided to continue to create. 
               He kept making more and more and the others liked it more and more. But the comments began to change from being impressed to a little critical.  
"This one is good, but i like how the older stuff was" they would say. 
Elliot was puzzled. 
"This is what i do. This is who I am. How can i make it how i used to?" 
             He racked his brain. He couldn't sleep. Every time he tried to make something, empty words filled his fingers. I can't do it...but the others wanted more.  
           Elliot tried to run, to flee from his talent but the music continued to swirl around and around dragging him deeper and deeper into madness.  Others continued their comments and said he lost his touch, that the talent was gone, but the music was still there. 
There was no escape. 
No one to listen. 


He hated music.

There once was Gimbo. 
               He was nice and lovable. But he never wanted to do anything. He would lay in the grass and watch daisies or clouds. The sun would rise and the sun would set on Gimbo dreaming away. When ever his friends would ask if he wanted to go swimming or go grab some food, he said he didn't want to. He never wanted to do anything.
              His mom would ask him to take a bath and he would reply that he didn't want to. His mother would say "One day you will have to do something." Gimbo would say "I dont want to think about that." He never wanted anything because he never needed anything. He just watched the clouds pass by.
               One day he saw the most beautiful sight, Ximbi. She was the most elegant thing he had laid his eyes on. 

                        Finally, he wanted something. 
               He tried everything to get close to her. He tried cooking, but he didn't know how. He never wanted to learn. He tried rowing a boat, but he couldn't. He never wanted to learn. He tried climbing a tree, but he couldn't. He never wanted to learn. He couldn't eat or sleep because of his overwhelming want to be with Ximbi. 
               Eventually, she moved away and Gimbo returned to his old ways. He would lay and watch the clouds and the daisies. The sun would rise and the sun would set on Gimbo dreaming away. 

But now he wasn't happy. 

He was lonely...